Hanging in There

Hanging in there... that is what I am doing. I got my massage last Friday and it was heaven. It was definitely worth every penny, I just wished it could have lasted longer! As I am counting down the days I think back to past deployments and like every other good wife, I shopped to pass the time... had to find a "homecoming outfit", really just something cute to wear. There is something surreal about homecomings and as exciting as they are, they feel a little akward...here is someone that I love dearly, have missed terribly,we know each other best and yet I haven't seen him for 7 months and he feels somewhat like a stranger. It doesn't last long but the butterflies you get when you first really like someone and all the things you think about...like do I have something in my teeth, make sure my nose is clean, will he like my outfit and think I look cute... even though he is my husband it still crosses my mind... I know I am not alone out here, whether any of my other fellow military wives have said it, I am sure they felt it. Well anyways, I digress. I have always been on the "go." Out and about, doing anything to keep from sitting at home especially the week before my hubby comes home. Time moves very slow and I am like a kid waiting for xmas morning. But now it is just different.

Time isn't the only thing moving slow, I AM TOO! My days of being the "go go girl" are well, equating to one outing wishing I was still at home laying down. For one... I am having a lot of contractions, they kind of take my breath away and then the pain I feel in my back and front side holding up my belly is unbelievable. Several people have mentioned getting one of these... I guess I could but I don't know anyone who has worn one... so do they really work? This one makes me laugh... not to insult anyone who has ever worn one, it just doesn't look that comfortable. Correct me if I am wrong. I draw the line here. It may work but really, I don't need anything else to add to my back side and this seems to be something that would only help accentuate it. I don't need help in that department... never have and never will. Not to mention I am really retaining fluid and my feet are swollen. Going out only exacerbates the issue and I hate that my feet look puffy, like the marshmallow man, who's feet are these, bc they don't look like mine? Yesterday I went out for a little while. I had to return some pajamas I ordered at Old Navy and then I thought I would make a trip to Target to see if they had any cute maternity tops. I am over maternity clothes. I don't want to spend any more money on them and I am just tired of them. At a time when I would be thinking about a cute outfit, I am praying I have a shirt that will cover my belly when he comes home. Target is hit or miss for me,usually it is a miss and yesterday was no different. One thing about San Diego... we are in much need of cute maternity stores and baby stores,that is another post! So I went home empty handed and thinking I should really wait until the weekend just in case my belly grows a little more before I buy anything. I know ultimately William will be thrilled to see me but let's be honest... I don't look like myself and no matter how many pictures he sees, he has not been around for the progression so he'll take one look at me and think "oh my!" Let's hope he is smart and ultra sensitive and will not say what he is really thinking. I will give him some credit, it has to be shocking and it probably will be, not to mention akward... how on earth are we going to hug? Yes my friends that has crossed my mind. Oh well, I know it will all work out and just as he gets used to seeing me pregnant, it will come to an end, Woohoo! So this week, I am praying for patience and contentment. Patience as I wait for William to come home. Contentment with the fact that I am at the point in my pregnancy where my stamina is not what it used to be and to embrace this time of rest my body is needing when sadly I admit, I like to consume my time with busyness at this season in the deployment.

Please pray for William's safety as he returns and for the continued health of my girls. I am 33 weeks now and looking forward to the end when I can hold 2 healthy baby girls in my arms.